There are certanly no hard and fast answers, so you're just going to have to collect what indicators you can, shake em together in a bag, and divine what you can from the pile you pour out.
Here are a few to think about:
You don't say how far away you whacked your deer, but RBs slow down really quickly. According to the Lyman manual, with your 90 grain load the ball starts at 1480 fps (32" barrel) but has slowed to only 978 fps at 100 yards. I'd say that if the balls with light loads are going the same velocity at 30-50 yards as yours were however far you shot your deer, you already know the answer. Just for the record, out of the same barrel a ball starts at 1224 with 50 grains of FFg and is still going 899 at 100 yards. That's only 79 fps slower than your 90 grain load. And the difference between a 70 grain load and a 50 grain load at 100 is only 51 fps. At closer range the differences would be greater, but I'm betting a 50 grain load is hitting as hard at 50 yards as a 90 grain load does at 75.
If your folks see the game and the aim better at closer range and shoot better with lighter loads, is it fair to assume that they're likely to shoot comparably as well at 50 yards as you do when you're shooting at longer range?
I've whacked a whole lot of deer with bullets of comparable weight out to 50 yards using the 44 Special and 45 LC cartridges in revolvers that left the muzzle at only 750 to 800 fps. Sure they were conical bullets, but they kill deer downright reliably with heart/lung shots. Sure looks to me like those "puny" 50 grain loads will whack at least as hard at 50 yards when starting at over 1200 fps.
That is unless there's something inherently wrong with RBs so that they can't kill as well as conicals of the same weight going lots slower! :wink: