Just my two bits, but every time I go to the range and see a newbie loading the maximum charge he can measure, and blowing his groups all over the backstop, I let him stew for a bit, then (politely) suggest that he try cutting his load in half, or less. Seeing is believing, or so they say, and it's great to see the light dawn and a smile break out when the shootist sees what his rifle/pistol is capable of without getting beaten up in the process. Once the bitter pill is swallowed with a will, it's an easy transition to trying variations in patch thickness, spit vs. goop, and all the other pecadillos that make this game so much fun. The down side of this is that I get so wrapped up in helping the newbie that I don't get to shoot enough on my own.
I don't think it's always a macho issue, I think most new shooters figure that if 50 grains is a good load, then 100 grains is twice as good.