Since I'm a Muzzleloader..............(humor)

[RussB]

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...Don't ask me what I'm thinking about. It's always something to do with Blackpowder.

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...When one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart despite the evidence it will just cost me twice as much once the Repairman gets there to "help me, or hold something for me". I am a Muzzleloader and I can fix about anything.

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...When the car is not running, I can be expected to pop the hood and give the engine a good long, hard staring...much like one might stare at a Bear.
And, if another Muzzleloader comes by we will say to each other, "I used to be able fix these things, nowadays with all them computers and such., I'm just not sure".
Then we could be expected to pass a jug of Apple Pie and pass gas in a form of Holy Communion.

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...If I should lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle around with a wire long past hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA was not an option for the Mountain Man.

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...I think what you are wearing is fine. With the belt, or without the belt, it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You are always beautiful. You absolutely look just fine.
Now, why can't I wear my War Shirt?

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...I will gladly share the house work. Mountain Men did such things. You just do the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes....And, I'll do the rest.

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...I do not wish to visit your mother. I do not want your mother to come visit us. I do not want to talk to your mother on the phone, and I do not want to talk to your mother when she calls. I do not want to think of your mother any more than I have to. Whatever you buy your mother is just fine, and pick me up some Blackpowder while you're out.

Since I'm a Muzzleloader...I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store. I like beans. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin or tofu". It must be peroid correct, and they ain't.

I hope you folks enjoy this, my wife sent it to me from the office, and I got such a kick out of it I thought I would share it....Funny how some folks see us. :crackup:

Russ

 

[kodiakemt414]

I can relate to some of that.

 

[Stumpkiller]

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . I hoard every piece of lead I come across, regardless of the shape or form. Even if it means exiting the car at a red light and dodging traffic to snarf a wheel weight.

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . I get a lot of strange boxes in the mail and scurry off with them into my poorly lit den, laughing maniacally.

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . I'm probably better at hand sewing than anyone else you know.

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . you may hear a couple extra "thumps" on the first day of deer season if it is raining at 4:30AM. That was me banging my head on the door frame. But I went anyway.

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . I place targets on the refrigerator with a magnet if there are five holes in the black, regardless of whether they are touching.

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . I will haunt you all the rest of your days if you allow me to be buried wearing a tie. :curse:

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . I expect you to cook what you consider odd things once I have gone to the trouble to mostly clean the fur or feathers off them.

Since I'm a muzzleloader . . . I intended to clean up the kitchen when I was done and that smell is intentional. Now stop yelling.

 

[bshultz]

Hey!!!!, I resemble those remarks!!! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :thumbsup: :redthumb:

 

[sniper68]

:huh: :hmm: :agree: :RO: :thumbsup:

 

[Dave Poss]

Since I'm a Muzzleloader.....My "grunts" are accepted as adequate response to any question.

Since I'm a Muzzleloader.....The 5 second rule for dropped food does not apply.

Since I'm a muzzleloader.....It's O.K. to clean bear claws at a restaurant table.

Since I'm a muzzleloader.....neighbors refuse to open my freezer for fear they will have to move the furs out of the way to get to the steaks.

Since I'm a muzzleloader.....useing only a knife to eat with is considered proper manners.

Since I'm a muzzleloader.....wearing moccasins to a formal wedding is permitted.

Since I am a muzzleloader....my gun,bag, and horn are taken to the storm celler in severe weather before any other items.

Since I am a muzzleloader.... the "aroma" of boiling a horn on the kitchen stove is tolerated by my family.

Since I am a muzzleloader,,,,My word is good, my handshake firm, and God and country still mean something!

 

[RussB]

Longknife....I do like that last one!

Being a Muzzleloader is indeed a good thing. It's even better when we recognize we are all those things, and more.

You guy's put some good stuff in here. I like it.
I'm going to "copy" all of them and send 'em to the girls in the office...they just think I "spoiled" their husbands.


Russ

 

[jtmattison]

Since I am a muzzleloader (flintlock)...It's okay to have only one eyebrow and my wife should not laugh every time I enter the room :crackup:

Huntin

 

Since I r a muzzleloader: its acceptable that I wear moccasins at any given time.

Since I r a muzzleloader: my kids accept venision as a staple in our diet.

Since I r a muzzleloader: my home is decorated with numerous blackpowder related projects in various states of completetion.

Since I r a muzzleloader: its acceptable that I have tomahawk targets set up in both the front and the back yards.

Since I r a muzzleloader: its not unusual for me to shower with my gun barrel after a long day hunt. [Okay, that's probably more than you needed to know...]

Since I r a muzzleloader: my kids see jerky as a wonderful treat instead of store bought candy.

Since I r a muzzleloader: some item of Camoflage may be incorporated into my everyday clothing.

Since I r a muzzleloader: my lead filled smelting pot doubles as a door stop in the workshop.

 

[wtilenw]

Since I'm a muzzleloader........I printed Stumpy's post and put it on MY refrigerator. Amen!
Idaho PRB eace:

 

[Huntinfool]

"Since I am a muzzleloader,,,,My word is good, my handshake firm, and God and Country still mean something!"

I'll take that one also Mr.VP!

I knew you had it in ya!

Good thread Russ, Tell the Mrs. Thanks!

YMH&OS, :redthumb:
Chuck

 

[flyfisher76544]

'Since I am a muzzleloader,,,My word is good, my handshake firm, and God and Country still mean something' Kinda sounds like a good logo ther!!! :thumbsup:

 

[Flint50]

Since I am a muzzleloader,,,,My word is good, my handshake firm, and God and country still mean something!

Kinda sums it up. Muzzleloaders are among the best this country has to offer.

 

[nit wit]

Since I'm a muzzleloader I'm proud to get mail and packages addressed to NIT WIT.
NIT WIT :redthumb:

 

[Bald Baron]

Since I'm a muzzleloader, I'll tell you about an incident at the range. I had the bright idea of using a bench rest. I put "Ole Staff" on it; he was throwing lots of sparks that day with a new black English flint. After I pulled the trigger, that flint and frizzen threw sparks all over the place. The wet carpet on top of the bench caught fire, I picked "Ole Staff" up just in time. I decided to change flints and save that one for hunting in the rain.

 

[2172]

I was going to post and thank Russ, and then I read Stumpy's so I was going to thank him, too...but, I read the rest, and now all I can say is I'm proud to be a muzzleloader, too....Hank

 

[Riley/MN]

Since I am a muzzleloader (and enjoy my humor), I cut, copied, compiled and sent it off to my wife.

Since I am a muzzleloader, I wish she would send me a similar list to help me understand women.

:nowwhereisthatguywiththepony-tail:

 

[RussB]

I was going to post and thank Russ, and then I read Stumpy's so I was going to thank him, too...but, I read the rest, and now all I can say is I'm proud to be a muzzleloader, too....Hank

Hank,
Since I'm a Muzzleloader, has completely backfired on "the girls at the office". I have copied all of them to-date.

And, although my wife has told the girls their little "plot" wasn't working too well, they are going to get the surprise of their live when I compile these.

What started out as a sly, underhanded, little inter-office joke could well be end up being copyright material down the road. :crackup: Ya have to admit, they are funny!

When will "they" ever understand?

Russ

 

[2172]

Russ, some prayers are better unanswered...it's better that "they" don't understand...they do too good a job running us right now with incomplete understanding...
it was really good stuff...Hank

 

[Bluegrass]

Since I'm a muzzleloader, I will occasionally burn a few grains of powder in the house to keep the air nice and fresh. And you WILL like it!

Since I'm a muzzleloader, I will build a shrine to D. Boone. :master: We will pray to him every night. We will have a secret ceremony every night. If you tell a non-muzzleloader about what we do in the ceremony, you and the non-muzzleloader will be sacrificed to Daniel.

Since I'm a muzzleloader, if you attempt to make fun of my ways, you will find yourself examining the muzzle of Ol Bessy.

Since I'm a muzzleloader, if you're stupid enough to forget the "e" in Boone, you too will be sacrificed to Daniel.

Since I'm a muzzleloader, I will not take the name of D. Boone in vain.

Since I'm a man, I will fear the Lord and live in the country and drive old trucks and be an NRA member! :thumbsup: