I have shot 40 grains in my .54 Hawken pistol, and I can tell you, it is a mighty load. I have also loaded 40 grains in my .45 Colt, and again I can tell you it is more than most people would enjoy.
Colt tried 40 grains for a short while then cut the factory loads back to 30 grains. 30 grains of BP is still a respectable load in the .45, and personally speaking would be the max that I would use in a .44 C&B. I traded my .36 off, but used about 20 grains in it at the time. I made a powder measure from a .30 Carbine cartridge, that worked just right. It always worked, and I didnt ever measure it.
I am with you Mike. The romantics of the Black Powder is fine--at the rondy. However in real life, that C&B will only result in a romantic death. I like to avoid trouble, so personally, I would just avoid those woods. If I just absolutely had to go in, I would be carrying my combat .45. Be courteous, be professional, be prepared to kill everyone you meet--old marine saying.