You are not alone! It took me a long time to pull it all together, and there are still some times when it seems more difficult than it should. However, once you get it all together, you can usually count on getting a fire going sooner or later, the old time way.
You need four things to make a flame: A good steel, a good flint, proper char cloth, and very dry, highly flammable tinder.
The best steels I own were handmade by artisan blacksmiths. I've not had good luck with the mass-produced commercial ones. Your old files should work, but you may need to grind the teeth off the striking surfaces.
There was a good discussion of flint for fire making here on the forum not too long ago:
Flint and Steel? I don't think I can add to that.
Your cedar bark, well pounded up into fibers, should make good tinder if it is really dry. Living where you do, you may be able to find dead Spanish moss. You want the black, fibrous stuff. I pick it up in the woods near where I live. If it is picked up off the ground, it may need to lie out in the sun for a while to get good and dry. I don't know if you have palmettos there or not, but if you do, the brown fiber on the trunk of the plant can be pulled off for tinder, and it works really well. However, the best tinder I have used is jute fiber. You get a ball of jute twine from Home Depot or Lowes. Cut a piece about two feet long and unravel it completely. You'll get a nest of fluffy fiber about the size of a baseball. It isn't very woodsy, but it works great and it's easy to carry a few extra feet of it in your pouch.
I haven't tried it but I've heard that oakum makes outstanding tinder, and may not even be allowed in some fire-starting competitions because it is so flammable. Oakum is hemp or jute fiber treated with tar or a tar derivative. It is used for caulking boats, and in years past it was used in plumbing joints. It is still available from wooden boat suppliers. I'll probably try some one of these days.
Regarding char cloth, this is the book that got me on track:
Making Sure-Fire Tinder, from Track of the Wolf. Oddly, TOTW does not carry the tin containers recommended in their book, but you can get them from the Log Cabin Shop in Lodi, Ohio. Follow the directions carefully and you'll get first-class char cloth.
You will want to select your fabric carefully. I understand linen works very well, but I haven't tried it. Cotton works fine and may be easier to get. It does need to be 100% cotton, without any synthetics. I've been using the cotton flannel GI cleaning patches from Brownell's with good results. One thing to watch out for, in scrounging cotton fabric, is that a lot of clothing (especially pajamas) has been treated with a fire retardant. You can make char cloth out of it, but a spark will just smolder, with a dull color. A spark on good char cloth will be bright orange, and will spread very quickly when you blow on it. If the charcloth won't keep the spark alive, I would suspect the base fabric was either not pure cotton (or linen) or it had been treated with a fire retardant.
I still have trouble controlling exactly where the sparks land, so my technique is kind of haphazard in that respect. Generally speaking, I have found if you strike the flint with the steel, the sparks will fly up and out. If you strike the steel with the flint, the sparks go down. That affects how you hold or where you place the char cloth, so it will catch a spark. One tiny little orange spark is all it takes on the cloth to get a fire going, if you have good char and dry tinder.
That little book from Track of the Wolf should be a big help.
Good luck with it!
Notchy Bob