There is a sequence of steps to follow in setting up the pistol. Number one is setting up the arbor so it bottoms in the barrel.
Check the end shake, which should be about .003".
If it's too large, then shorten the arbor.
All of this is done with the barrel NOT contacting the frame lug.
With the barrel mounted to the arbor (off to the side of the frame lug) rotate it up to the frame. It should just mate up. If they don't and one needs to be shortened, I've carefully removed material from the frame lug. The locating pins need to come out to do this.
If the end shake is excessive, the cylinder will be pounded backwards causing wear, pressure will be lost, and flames will exit the gap (they will anyway), possibly causing a chain fire.
Anyway, it's just those three things - get the arbor length correct that gives minimal head shake, then line up the barrel and frame lugs.
Some guys even set them up with .001" gap, but you can run into problems going too tight.